Deja Poo

Cows, sheep, camels, giraffes, buffaly. These are ruminants. They are designed to eat leafy plant materials.

Their eating habits go something like this.

"Boy my fellow ruminant friend, that leafy plant material down there sure looks tasty. I think I will eat some"

Chomp. Chew. Chew. Chew.

Gulp.

Bleck.

"Mmmm. This partially digested grass sure is tasty."

Gulp

Bleck

"Mmmm. This partialy digested grass sure is tasty."

Gulp.

Bleck.

"Mmmm. This partially digested grass sure is tasty."

Pbltttt

"Hey my ruminant friends, watch where you step. I just finished digesting that tasty leafy plant material and have anally purged the remaining waste. I don't want you, my ruminant friends to step in it."

Ruminants evolved a digestive system that is designed to break down leafy plant materials. They have four stomachs, each specialized to take leafy plant material and turn it into life-sustaining nutrients.

Well, I had a salad for a primary meal each day this week. It is part of my healthy eating diet.

And in doing such, I learned something.

I am clearly not a ruminant animal. I have not evolved the ability to digest leafy plant material. And it became more and more evident as the week progressed. So by Thursday, here was my experience.

"Mmmm, Salad. I am so happy I am eating healthy."

pblttttt (about 3 hours later)

wipe wipe wipe

"Oh look, undigested leafy plant material"

flush.

pbltttt. pbltttt. pbltttt (about 6 hours post-meal)

wipe wipe wipe

"Oh look, more undigested leafy plant material"

flush.

This process has been repeating itself about every 4 - 6 hours since Thursday.

So it shouldn't be a surprise when I say that my 8 mile run this morning was nothing more than 8 miles of runs.

It started off good enough. But by the first water stop, two miles in, I snuck off to the bathroom for a few minutes. It was more a proactive step and this isn't out of the ordinary for me. The next three miles went great. I was maintaining a good pace and felt pretty good.

Then, out of no where, it struck me. Actually, it blind-sided me. I was hit by a fecal emergency. And not a minor, it will work itself out type of emergency. But a "Oh crap, where is the nearest bathroom, or tree, for that matter" type of fecal emergency. The kind where you can't speed up or it's all over. But if you slow down, it's only going to be longer. And you really need to get to that bathroom so slowing down shouldn't be considered, but it is your only option. You are basically up shit creek without a paddle (literally).

After about 10 long and grueling minutes, I managed to make it back to the bathroom. After taking care of business, the last two miles went fine.

So, as I enter marathon week, my diet becomes a primary concern. I don't want to be "that guy", the one who takes an extended break in a port-a-potty. So I will be paying close attenting to what I consume throughout the week while focsing on eating healthy.

But leafy plant material will not be a part of the diet.